My First Haiku’s

SPRING 

Ripples cross the pond
Lulls the lily – gentle bob
Crash upon the shore

Pale lilac petals
Break free and tumble and toss
Sweet scent in the air

A bloated cloud floats
Straining from its heavy load
Ozone breathes on me

The snap of a bough
A shrieking blue jay takes flight
The moon glows silent

Swift brush of an arm
Harried people rushing by
Trees sway in the breeze

Canto CLXVIII

The pines , the vines
It climbs , for shine
It gropes , it hopes
The rope , it chokes

The breeze , they tease
the trees , the leaves
They stutter , they flutter
The ground , they cover

1-6180339877The ground , its crowned
The mound , is browned
to earth , its worth
Brings forth , re-birth

The sun, so fun
The days begun
The rays , it sprays
But once its done

The moon , too soonIMG_0916
It swoons , it ruins
The light , too slight
No might, the sight

The dark , so stark
It harks , it marks
The night , in spite
It smites , the light

Chapman Falls - Devils Hopyard State Park
The water , moons daughter
It wanders, its borders
It flows , it knows
It glows , it shows

The night , turns white
The light , so bright
The moon , is gone
The dawn’s , re-born

Cursed Sight

I look through my strangled eyes,  all I ever see is gloom
Flowers seem to fade away , refuse to even bloom
the Emptiness it fills me , like a hot air balloon
Darkness overtakes me , on a summers after-noon

I can hear the preachers say

Don’t give up
just kneel and pray

But the Voice is so far away

I heed it not
so here I stay

Under the withering sky , I wait to die – I pray to Die

My nightmares be-come real to me, in the light of day
The Hopelessness of reality , seems to light my way
I’m lost and befuddled , so I wallow here in pain
Submerged in my troubles , my will has been drained

But I can hear the prophets say

The son has came
to light the way

But where is he on this day

He’s left me here
in misery

And on through the black pitch of night , I tremble in fright – I tremble in Fright

Breathing the night through me , I exhale only blame
Hiding from light , you see, it exposes all my shame
It’s cold and dark to me , always winter always night
I see Time as it withers thee , and all else in my Sight

And I can hear the priestess say

Don’t give up
just follow me

But through my eyes
she fades away

For Beauty , I can not see

And on through the starless night , I hide my eyes – I hide my Eyes

I cover my strangled eyes , with my palms of dying flesh
afraid to see our demise, my cursed sight still left unblessed
In my heart love can’t arise , my unclean wounds still too fresh
Whoever could hear my cries , an issue left unaddressed

I hear no more voices today

I’ve given up
I’ve turned away

And my epitaph will say

A bitter man
below does lay

And on through the dead of night , I close my eyes  – I Close my eyes …

Kevin Beary – song circa 1988

Scraps of paper on the bottom of a drawer

is where I found this musing : at least 15-20 years old

She’s strongest in shadows
such as a creature of night
Like an innocent baby’s grip
she’s got inestimable might

Her heart is a bottomless well
incapable of overflowing
a fountain of love
that she doesn’t  mind showing

She’ll never compete
but will wind up on top
She’ll deny there’s a race
but she still won’t stop

Her surface demeanor
is a clever disguise
but there’s guile and cunning
behind them beautiful eyes

Her smiles reveal
not a hint of her plan
she can wait if she wants
she can have any man

Memories Have Claws

The past, it hangs on, like a lead weight on my heart; yet I won’t let it go, I can’t release it. Those times of my youth, never to be relived, the loves, never to be felt in the same way.
All gone.

This life, nothing like the past and it never shall be. The feel of it is lost. Those people I once knew, are no more – scattered , altered , their feelings conflicted in this new age.
Been changed.

Some flashes, moments of clear remembrances, a deja-vu of the mind only, punch me in the gut. Quick as it comes, I feel it leave, slipping away, I grasp helplessly,I want it back. Don’t Go.

My feelings, an alien invasion of my body, moves through me, tightening , gripping and pulling with every thought of a time I miss. These memories have claws.
It hurts.

Those yearnings, no more. The achievements and experiences once longed for are no longer a priority , or in some ways , even considered desirable. That future never existed.
Never will.

Other memories, those filled with bitter regret , the ones that changed the path and brought me here instead of that rosy place where I conceive I should be. I will never know.
It’s done.

This person , a new being, listless and unmotivated , moves throughout the day between the chapters of life , avoiding any annotation or bookmark. There is nothing to see here.
I’m invisible.

The present, like a new timeline, seem dull and devoid of life in comparison. Mundane moments, that existed then and still exist now, just don’t compare. These are numbing.
Who cares?

Mirror

The mirror mocks me
laughing at me
innocence is gone

Distorted is my reflection
cannot take life’s rejection
how can this go on ?

Rain and Thunder
makes me wonder
but who here can say ?

Crucifixion
Life’s addiction
to whom should I pray ?

The Shattered windows of my soul
echo the emptiness inside me
reflections of my past
are mirrored before me

Only now do I know
that there’s no place to go
nowhere to hide

From this Pain inside

 By Kevin Beary 

song circa 1988 – http://khu.sh/usersong_4e2da47215324

I Mourn – A poetic collage

I mourn the memories in my head , I mourn the love that now is dead
I mourn for all the could have beens , I mourn all the unfulfilled dreams
I mourn my pillar that crumbled away , I mourn the words I didn’t say
I mourn the past that didn’t last , I mourn our tomorrow that won’t pass

There is no word strong enough to express my grief
There is no meter soft enough to provide relief
There is no rhyme clever enough to make you believe
There is no amount of words that aren’t too brief

I was always afraid to feel
Now I feel so acutely , I’m tearing apart with it.
I feel it in waves and it drowns me in its sorrow
My tears aren’t hot enough to express my grief
Should my skin boil and sear , I would feel relief

This sadness weighs me down
this mail of anguish sags my shoulders
Tennysons` crown of sorrow is no solace
Memories of joyous days only increases my misery

The warm flood of loving remembrances,
Those moments of ecstatic sharing’s ; There are no words tender enough to describe.
I mourn the time that passed away
Uneventfully
Unappreciated
Its in these mundane moments that we live and love

This is my final tribute , my last goodbye and I feel it so intensely
It makes all my perceived pains and woes of my past , so insignificant.
The small everyday trials , that once engrossed me
are swept aside like soft ash

My common sufferers !! We bond together !
There is no agent of joy that can bind so strongly. I call to you!
Love is as timeless as it is transient
and no ones grief is as great as ones own.
But we all love and we all grieve together.

The healing balm of time is an exhausting and tedious relief
yet time may eventually dull the edges of this sharp pain
But I do not long for complete comfort , it is this feeling that reminds me that I am alive.
I may weep and sob
I may wail and ache

But I Mourn and I Live !

By Kevin Beary –

Reprint from old blog Dec 2010

A Spring of Hope

The red blush yawns its way across the sky

the grey pall of winter sweats itself blue-

cold blood meanders in muddy valleys

and watery arteries line the land

 

the warm breeze , sweet and heavy, smells of hope

though this surpasses truth , here we await

the infancy of spring teases the brutes

dreaming of the coming of the season

 

the inexhaustible earth awakens

with unending vigor, shakes itself clean

dispatched of the past , once more it begins

renewed and alive , its new skin shines bright

 

the effervescent mist of the season

soaks and coats the limbs , both beast and flora

this refresh of the land cleanses our hearts

and re-creation of the world begins

KB

This Day

This Day marks time , the beginning
Though it has founded the end
This day ends the craziness
This day, peace sets in

This day slows the hurry
that the week brings on
This day calms the worry
your mind lingers upon

This day brings me grace
and the tranquil moments there
It shines light upon my face
with others, I can share

This day brings me restfulness
Like the one from long ago
This day fills my heart with Bliss
It cleanses my very soul

Some use this day for prayer, some comb the troubles from their hair
Some people really just don’t care ; My feelings I will share.
Its on this day my pain subsides , I hear no more anxious cries
I can ignore the daily lies , and concentrate on this sunrise.

SUNDAY

By Kevin Beary

Take it Slow

Baby , We can take it slow
No need to rush you know
Don’t want to let you go
but I’m not ready to commit now

You know I’ve been hurt before
Don’t think I can love no more
what I need now , is a friend
til the end , and baby that’s you.

Someday maybe, your wish’ll come true &
I’ll be able to say I love you too
But now those words feel cold inside
from those words I try to hide
But if there’s a girl , and there’s very few
who could change my ways , it would be you

Please don’t take it personally
its not because of you ,but because of me
I need you girl , I cannot lie
but I just can’t be chained by your side

Didn’t try to lead you on
Didn’t want to hurt you
My feelings for you are strong
But not enough to please you

Baby we can take it slow
No need to rush , ya know
Don’t want to let you go
But I’m not ready to commit now

Just take me as I am now

KB

The Willow in the Winds

The Willow in the Winds

I see the soul of the weeping willow , so strong , so noble
Yet a sad affectation in its sloped bearing.
Its beautiful and gentle , and vulnerable all the same.
Its roots grow out widely , so thirsty is its soul
so deep its fount
so swelled with life water that none can compare to its capacities.

I am blessed to share this unquenchable fount
Your fount, sweet love , It fills me and
my shallow pond
so desperately relies on you to fill me
with what you so naturally possess
and that which I can only acquire from you.

I don’t mean to drink so heartily from you
but you can withstand it , I know
I need you , you have saved me , I owe you all
You have such a capacity for love and to fill me with it
and you do so – nobly , so gently , selflessly.
This leaves you vulnerable , your easing of my thirst.
But your fount seems boundless.
You are of magnificence and grace , as a willows soul .

Whistling through the wood , the wind-whipped rain pelts the land
As the wind whips, the willow wails , weeping its worth upon the earth.

 

Kevin Beary – 2009ish 

Righteous Rant

I loathe the unscrupulous and common
Detestable is the hipocracy of the righteous
Repugnant is the idleness of the lazy
and vile are the tresspasses of the lying

I deplore the simple and close-minded
Insidious are the movements of the fanatic
Impeachable are the offenses of the selfish
and malicious are the acts of the vengeful

I respect the mind of the curious
Admirable is the restraint of the patient
Noble is the nature of the humble
and saintly are the deeds of the generous

I revere the beauty of the innocent
Exemplary are the acts of the truthful
Angelic is the behavior of the just
and wondrous are the feats of the industrious

3/2005 – Reprint from http://kasualkafe.com/poetry.htm

Can’t feel you

I walk in your room , but everything’s gone , and I can’t feel you any more –

You used to say , there was no joy but me , but I don’t hear you anymore

There was a time , I couldn’t escape , but now I search for you in vain

But its too late , you walked away , and I won’ t see you any more

And now !! I ache. my tears …can’t wash away this pain
Your fears , won’t let you come back again

So now !! Your gone , re-gret , is all that I have left
So sad , we used to have so much more

There was a time when we were so close , but I can’t read your thoughts from here

Life can be hard , yet together /we/ were strong , and I can’t bear it on my own

But I am afraid , these memories’ll fade , and I won’t feel you anymore

I am afraid , these memories’ll fade , and I can’t feel you anymore

Crickets

The drone of crickets keep me company as the waning moon sheds light upon me The calmness of night soothes my mind Sweet honey dew collects upon the yielding leaves of grass Soft thoughts and mild dreams relax my brow as the cool fog of sleep clouds my eyes drifting … floating away

DANCING MEN UPON GALLOPING HORSES PLUNDER THUNDEROUSLY ON ROCKY GROUND!

 THE SLAPS OF HOOVES AND HOOTS OF WAR – COMBINE WITH THE HOWL OF WOLVES , DOGS OF HELL , HOUNDS OF HUNGER.

 THE SPIRITS OF DEATH ARE UPON US!  CHAOS CLASHES WITH THE CLANG OF STEEL! CUTTING PAIN SHATTERS THE NIGHT!

………..The warm glow of sun and sweet sounds of morning stretch and soothe my relaxed muscles Cool breeze awakens my dulled senses  Blue skies and wispy clouds greet my eyes with pleasure

me

Dream

Dream

The unpassable river rushes below a torched and decimated bridge
I see you on the opposite bank , moonlit , your beaming face smiles.
As my shadow points your new direction , you turn and walk away.
I yell and scream,  but the sound is whisked away downstream.
Hopping and flailing impotently , I helplessly beg for your attention.
A moment of crazed frenzy convinces me to jump into the rapids…..
The searing chill swiftly cures my mania. Scared sober,
I swim for all I’m worth , my arms and legs burning
This lactic acid bath invades my brain and soothes its will
The turbulence overtakes me and im drawn away to the unknown
A dead dove floats past me , its eyes black and empty
Drifting away , my purpose lost to the side I will not reach ,
I release myself to the numbing current and the deep black.
Soundlessly, I succumb , slipping beneath the waves silently.

Reprint from old blog