I Mourn – A poetic collage

I mourn the memories in my head , I mourn the love that now is dead
I mourn for all the could have beens , I mourn all the unfulfilled dreams
I mourn my pillar that crumbled away , I mourn the words I didn’t say
I mourn the past that didn’t last , I mourn our tomorrow that won’t pass

There is no word strong enough to express my grief
There is no meter soft enough to provide relief
There is no rhyme clever enough to make you believe
There is no amount of words that aren’t too brief

I was always afraid to feel
Now I feel so acutely , I’m tearing apart with it.
I feel it in waves and it drowns me in its sorrow
My tears aren’t hot enough to express my grief
Should my skin boil and sear , I would feel relief

This sadness weighs me down
this mail of anguish sags my shoulders
Tennysons` crown of sorrow is no solace
Memories of joyous days only increases my misery

The warm flood of loving remembrances,
Those moments of ecstatic sharing’s ; There are no words tender enough to describe.
I mourn the time that passed away
Uneventfully
Unappreciated
Its in these mundane moments that we live and love

This is my final tribute , my last goodbye and I feel it so intensely
It makes all my perceived pains and woes of my past , so insignificant.
The small everyday trials , that once engrossed me
are swept aside like soft ash

My common sufferers !! We bond together !
There is no agent of joy that can bind so strongly. I call to you!
Love is as timeless as it is transient
and no ones grief is as great as ones own.
But we all love and we all grieve together.

The healing balm of time is an exhausting and tedious relief
yet time may eventually dull the edges of this sharp pain
But I do not long for complete comfort , it is this feeling that reminds me that I am alive.
I may weep and sob
I may wail and ache

But I Mourn and I Live !

By Kevin Beary –

Reprint from old blog Dec 2010

A Spring of Hope

The red blush yawns its way across the sky

the grey pall of winter sweats itself blue-

cold blood meanders in muddy valleys

and watery arteries line the land

 

the warm breeze , sweet and heavy, smells of hope

though this surpasses truth , here we await

the infancy of spring teases the brutes

dreaming of the coming of the season

 

the inexhaustible earth awakens

with unending vigor, shakes itself clean

dispatched of the past , once more it begins

renewed and alive , its new skin shines bright

 

the effervescent mist of the season

soaks and coats the limbs , both beast and flora

this refresh of the land cleanses our hearts

and re-creation of the world begins

KB

This Day

This Day marks time , the beginning
Though it has founded the end
This day ends the craziness
This day, peace sets in

This day slows the hurry
that the week brings on
This day calms the worry
your mind lingers upon

This day brings me grace
and the tranquil moments there
It shines light upon my face
with others, I can share

This day brings me restfulness
Like the one from long ago
This day fills my heart with Bliss
It cleanses my very soul

Some use this day for prayer, some comb the troubles from their hair
Some people really just don’t care ; My feelings I will share.
Its on this day my pain subsides , I hear no more anxious cries
I can ignore the daily lies , and concentrate on this sunrise.

SUNDAY

By Kevin Beary

Take it Slow

Baby , We can take it slow
No need to rush you know
Don’t want to let you go
but I’m not ready to commit now

You know I’ve been hurt before
Don’t think I can love no more
what I need now , is a friend
til the end , and baby that’s you.

Someday maybe, your wish’ll come true &
I’ll be able to say I love you too
But now those words feel cold inside
from those words I try to hide
But if there’s a girl , and there’s very few
who could change my ways , it would be you

Please don’t take it personally
its not because of you ,but because of me
I need you girl , I cannot lie
but I just can’t be chained by your side

Didn’t try to lead you on
Didn’t want to hurt you
My feelings for you are strong
But not enough to please you

Baby we can take it slow
No need to rush , ya know
Don’t want to let you go
But I’m not ready to commit now

Just take me as I am now

KB

The Willow in the Winds

The Willow in the Winds

I see the soul of the weeping willow , so strong , so noble
Yet a sad affectation in its sloped bearing.
Its beautiful and gentle , and vulnerable all the same.
Its roots grow out widely , so thirsty is its soul
so deep its fount
so swelled with life water that none can compare to its capacities.

I am blessed to share this unquenchable fount
Your fount, sweet love , It fills me and
my shallow pond
so desperately relies on you to fill me
with what you so naturally possess
and that which I can only acquire from you.

I don’t mean to drink so heartily from you
but you can withstand it , I know
I need you , you have saved me , I owe you all
You have such a capacity for love and to fill me with it
and you do so – nobly , so gently , selflessly.
This leaves you vulnerable , your easing of my thirst.
But your fount seems boundless.
You are of magnificence and grace , as a willows soul .

Whistling through the wood , the wind-whipped rain pelts the land
As the wind whips, the willow wails , weeping its worth upon the earth.

 

Kevin Beary – 2009ish 

Righteous Rant

I loathe the unscrupulous and common
Detestable is the hipocracy of the righteous
Repugnant is the idleness of the lazy
and vile are the tresspasses of the lying

I deplore the simple and close-minded
Insidious are the movements of the fanatic
Impeachable are the offenses of the selfish
and malicious are the acts of the vengeful

I respect the mind of the curious
Admirable is the restraint of the patient
Noble is the nature of the humble
and saintly are the deeds of the generous

I revere the beauty of the innocent
Exemplary are the acts of the truthful
Angelic is the behavior of the just
and wondrous are the feats of the industrious

3/2005 – Reprint from http://kasualkafe.com/poetry.htm

Can’t feel you

I walk in your room , but everything’s gone , and I can’t feel you any more –

You used to say , there was no joy but me , but I don’t hear you anymore

There was a time , I couldn’t escape , but now I search for you in vain

But its too late , you walked away , and I won’ t see you any more

And now !! I ache. my tears …can’t wash away this pain
Your fears , won’t let you come back again

So now !! Your gone , re-gret , is all that I have left
So sad , we used to have so much more

There was a time when we were so close , but I can’t read your thoughts from here

Life can be hard , yet together /we/ were strong , and I can’t bear it on my own

But I am afraid , these memories’ll fade , and I won’t feel you anymore

I am afraid , these memories’ll fade , and I can’t feel you anymore

Crickets

The drone of crickets keep me company as the waning moon sheds light upon me The calmness of night soothes my mind Sweet honey dew collects upon the yielding leaves of grass Soft thoughts and mild dreams relax my brow as the cool fog of sleep clouds my eyes drifting … floating away

DANCING MEN UPON GALLOPING HORSES PLUNDER THUNDEROUSLY ON ROCKY GROUND!

 THE SLAPS OF HOOVES AND HOOTS OF WAR – COMBINE WITH THE HOWL OF WOLVES , DOGS OF HELL , HOUNDS OF HUNGER.

 THE SPIRITS OF DEATH ARE UPON US!  CHAOS CLASHES WITH THE CLANG OF STEEL! CUTTING PAIN SHATTERS THE NIGHT!

………..The warm glow of sun and sweet sounds of morning stretch and soothe my relaxed muscles Cool breeze awakens my dulled senses  Blue skies and wispy clouds greet my eyes with pleasure

me

Dream

Dream

The unpassable river rushes below a torched and decimated bridge
I see you on the opposite bank , moonlit , your beaming face smiles.
As my shadow points your new direction , you turn and walk away.
I yell and scream,  but the sound is whisked away downstream.
Hopping and flailing impotently , I helplessly beg for your attention.
A moment of crazed frenzy convinces me to jump into the rapids…..
The searing chill swiftly cures my mania. Scared sober,
I swim for all I’m worth , my arms and legs burning
This lactic acid bath invades my brain and soothes its will
The turbulence overtakes me and im drawn away to the unknown
A dead dove floats past me , its eyes black and empty
Drifting away , my purpose lost to the side I will not reach ,
I release myself to the numbing current and the deep black.
Soundlessly, I succumb , slipping beneath the waves silently.

Reprint from old blog

Trapped Soul

Trapped Soul

The Man
In the tapestry
Screams
Lost Breath
Caught in his throat
Frozen , Timeless
A thread
it hangs ..
Longer and L o n g e r
The unraveling of a man
continues
throughout the years
His old soul
grows cold
the thread is
heaped
upon the dusty floor
Free !!!
Kevin Beary
Reprint 4/2/09 old blog

 

Lost in Lament

Featured

Its 2 in the morning and I’m dreaming of dreaming
I’m filled till I’m bursting , these words they come streaming
Thoughts only of you , From my mind they are screaming
And then the tears flow  , From my heart they are bleeding

If I had the power Id turn back  some time
And go to that moment when u were still mine
Id caress every sorrow and answer all prayers
Id take back the words that had made you so scared
Id undo the harm that caused you to question
Id unveil the mask that had hid my affections
Id look in your eyes and  steady your breathing
And tell you that I share,  all that your dreaming

I’d strengthen your back with my arms round your side
And hold you and tell you theres never reason to hide
Id talk with you quietly , while you tell me your fears
Id react only lovingly so to cause you no tears
Id carry you proudly when you need me there
and wait for you patiently  when you need some air
I’d adapt to all conflicts and fulfill all your needs
Id be all you wanted and exceed all your dreams

Its three in the morning and I’m ailing from wailing
My throat is so sore , from these feelings I’m airing
And my core is so raw , coz my armor , its failing
I’m lonely and scared , coz its me that I’m baring

I know its just fantasy , I know its all fake
I know that its over , we no longer share fates
But I’ve learned from our past , I see the mistakes
I know who I can be , and now know what it takes
I look to the future , and to new friendships there
Im ready and able to show how I care.

I do have the power , I can affect my own mind
And I will grow stronger , and better with time
I will  no longer hide , I will no longer fear
I can allow someone in , if they want to get near
I will miss you forever , theres no time that I won’t
But I’ll always remember , that its my choice to  hurt.

Its four in the morning , as I stare at the ceiling
I hope for some comfort , some respite from feeling
I am so close to numb now  , and I’m dreaming of being
a part of love again  , with someone new I’ll be seeing

Dramatically Grammatical

Tis not , a flight of fancy , not unknown
A grammatical sin
of cliche , uttered doubly wrong.

As it is wrong to ever split an infinitive
one can see the impending conundrum
Because no sentence fragments.
and Don`t no negatives gravitate
towards prepositions that end their sentences with.

Damn ! All explanation points !!!
and non-stop continuous redundancies , ever frustrate
most minds of men , made alliterate

As this tragedy befalls ,not the happy man
yet upon a fallible but virtuous soul
where happiness is wrest from his hold,
or rather…. sadness , brought upon his own.

KB 3/16/05 – reprinted from http://www.kasualkafe.com/poetry.htm

Realizations

The alarm sounds.  Incessantly and Insistently.
The emergency of life

Why even wake? Again and Again
A pointless exercise.

“Sometimes I feel…” – Afflicts us All
The human condition

My minds tide , Rises and Falls
It washes you away.

My moods affect those who are around me; I affect the moods of you who intercept me.
I must control that which needs controlling; So obvious, it needs no extolling.
Grasp this smelly beast by its horns and wrench;Release all that’s rank,rid yourself this stench
Then you will find the happiness you seek; So obvious , demands no great technique.

Key
3 words x2 similar
6 syllables definition
Conclusion –  a a b b Pentameter
Repetition of words / themes / alliteration

My First Sonnet – First Draft

To Love so deeply, still , despite the end
To think that love once hesitant has grown
In strength and breadth , my broken heart has mend
What I feel I have lost was naught mine own

Your parting dimmed my day, the shadows stay
Upon your shore my waste is washed again
and cleansed unstained by your pure heart today
I come to you anew , your love , your friend

To walk along the waters edge with you
our hands enclasped we stroll lifes path entwined
my dream , is that only this wish was true
Without your hand I walk completely blind

I know this dream is just a dream of mine
I hope the paths we walk one day align